Who Do You Sue For Being Blue?
by Red Witch
Summary: Yet another deleted scene from Parallel Lives! Kurt is depressed when he finds out the truth about his past, until Shipwreck puts a different perspective on it.


**I don't own any characters with the exception of Althea. Yup, here's another deleted scene from Parallel Lives! I just had this idea that ran amok in my brain screaming and banging its head against the walls until it came out. How did Kurt get over learning the truth about his family and his looks? Here's my answer! Plus I really felt like having Shipwreck drive Xavier crazy some more! **

**Who Do You Sue for Being Blue?**

The X-Men had been on the GI Joe base for a few days. Still some of them had problems adjusting. "I'm really worried about Kurt Professor," Scott sighed. "He still hasn't forgiven us for not telling him about Mystique and what she let Magneto do to him."

They were walking outside. Shipwreck and Jean were also with them. "Can you blame him? I can only imagine how he must feel after learning he was experimented on."

"Yeah the kid's been really blue," Shipwreck sighed. "No pun intended." 

"We really need to talk," Xavier sighed. They found Kurt with Todd, Althea and Rogue. He did not look happy.

"Kurt for the last time I never meant to keep this a secret from you!" Rogue called out. 

"Yeah right," Kurt sighed. 

"Hey you weren't the only one lied to!" Rogue snapped. "Remember?" 

"Ya," Kurt looked at Xavier, Scott and Jean. 

"We didn't exactly lie to you Kurt," Jean said. "Or you Rogue." 

"You didn't exactly tell them the truth either," Todd pointed out.

"Who asked you?" Jean snapped. 

"Kurt I never meant to hurt you," Xavier said. "I asked Scott and the others not to tell you because I didn't want you to suffer any more pain." 

"Pain? Do you know what pain is? Pain is believing that you are a freak of nature for nearly all of your life. Pain is thinking that God made you the way you are to punish you or doesn't care! At least I would have known the truth!" Kurt spat. "At least now I know that this wasn't my fault somehow! That someone else is responsible for the way I look! Someone turned me into this!" He glared at his three fingered hands. "Someone who purposely did this to me!" 

"Someone you can sue for damages," Shipwreck pointed out. 

"Shipwreck you are not helping!" Xavier snapped.

"Sue?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah you know," Shipwreck told him. "Get money for your pain and suffering. I figure if Mags has got enough cash to run a dozen or so laboratories he could at least cough up some dough for you." 

"Shipwreck this is not about suing Magneto!" Xavier told him.

"The Professor is right," Kurt sighed. "No amount of money can change the way I feel about myself. Even if I did sue…could I really do that?" He asked Shipwreck. "You think I could actually get money from Magneto?" 

"Come on kid look at you!" Shipwreck pointed out. "You're an open and shut case!" 

"SHIPWRECK!" Xavier shouted.

"Well it's true!" Shipwreck told him. "Tell me what judge or jury is not going to take one look at the kid and award him at least a couple of mill?" 

"Mill?" Kurt asked. "You mean millions? As in millions of American dollars?"

"I ain't talking millions of pudding pops kid," Shipwreck said.

"This is insane!" Scott snapped. "You are actually encouraging him to sue Magneto? Do you have any idea how crazy this sounds?" 

"Actually for once my pop has a point," Althea told him. "Think about it, what's the best way to hurt a maniacal megalomaniac? Hitting him in his wallet is a pretty good start!"

"Yeah think about it Fuzzy," Todd piped up. "You're taking money from his labs for your sports car!" 

"Sports car?" Kurt's ears picked up. "I could get a sports car?" 

"Hey why stop with one?" Althea asked him. "You could buy a whole fleet of 'em with the money you'd get!" 

"This is ridiculous!" Xavier said. "Kurt, if we can get back to the subject at hand. I'm sorry I didn't trust you with this information. I thought I was protecting you."

"Ya, hold on a second professor," Kurt waved to him. He turned to Shipwreck. "Are you telling me I could get rich if I sue Magneto?"

"Only one way to find out," Shipwreck shrugged. "I know a lawyer. Military lawyer that specializes in shall we say, unusual cases. He's the one who got me through my divorce!" 

"Oh you mean Mr. Mulder?" Althea said. "I remember him. I like him. He's good! You'll like him Kurt. Not only did he get a quick divorce for my dad he managed to get me a nice tidy sum from my mom's boyfriend for breaking up the marriage."

"You never told me that!" Todd said.

"Oh yeah he managed to find a loophole that forced that stuck up jerk into paying child support along with my mom in one lump sum," Althea told him. "Set up a trust fund for me, my sisters and my little brother. I tell you I can't wait until I turn twenty-one! I am going to party!" 

"Holy cow I'm dating an heiress!" Todd yelped. "Thank you god! This almost makes up for all the misery you put me through!" 

"This is ridiculous!" Xavier shouted. "Kurt can't sue Magneto!"

"Yes I can!" Kurt told him. 

"Kurt you are not being rational about this!" Xavier told him.

"On the contrary," Kurt said. "For the first time in my life I am being totally rational on how I look! I may not be able to change how I look on the outside, but maybe this way I can stop Magneto from having the resources to do this to anyone else!"

"Not to mention you'll have all that moolah to help you recover from all your pain and suffering!" Todd told him.

"I could buy my parents a new house," Kurt yelped.

"Forget the house, you could get yourself a swanky mansion yo!" Todd told him. 

"If you thought chicks dug the fuzzy dude before, think about how much they'll dig you when you're a rich fuzzy dude!" Shipwreck told him.

"What's the number for that lawyer?" Kurt asked. 

"Kurt are not suing Magneto!" Xavier snapped.

"Why not?" Kurt whined.

"I don't want you to be put through any harassment," Xavier told him. 

"It's a little late for that!" Shipwreck told him. "What? You want to be the only rich mutant around?" 

"No! I just don't want Kurt to become corrupted by greed and become bitter and revengeful!" Xavier explained. "This could change his entire life!"

"If he's lucky it could change his tax bracket!" Todd spoke up. 

"There's no guarantee of that!" Xavier snapped. "Civil cases like this drag on for years! Even if Magneto was brought to trial somehow and Kurt did sue it could be a long, debilitating process!"

"Unless you know the right people," Shipwreck pointed out. 

"What if the media gets a hold of this? It could turn Kurt's life into a circus! He'd never be able to walk down the street again!" Xavier told him.

"Hello? Have we met? My name is Kurt Wagner," Kurt snapped. "That's already happened to me!" 

"Think of this as a lesson in the American way of life," Shipwreck told him.

"Making money off someone's personal misfortune and pain and suffering?" Xavier asked.

"Right! What can be more American than that?" Shipwreck said. 

"Kurt I don't think you've thought this through," Scott said. "How are you going to prove that Magneto's responsible for your mutations in the first place?"

"We have tests that could show if someone's DNA is altered," Shipwreck told him. "Plus we have your testimony and Logan's about the lab. And if we catch Mystique I'm sure she'll sing like a bird on what happened." 

"Kurt that could get pretty rough," Jean said. "I mean she's as much responsible for what happened to you as Magneto." 

"You may have to end up suing your own mother," Scott said.

"Actually Scott that's not really a problem for me," Kurt told him. 

"Hey maybe I could get in on this," Rogue said. "Mystique's my mom too! I mean I really think she should pay for all that she's done to me!" 

"Hey Magneto and Mystique did stuff to me too!" Todd piped up. "Why shouldn't I get cash from them too!" 

"I smell a class action suit!" Althea crowed. 

"TO THE LAWYERS!" Shipwreck shouted. "Come on kids! Today we are going to learn how to sue people for fun and profit!"

"Why not?" Rogue shrugged. "At least I'm getting some kind of education I can use!"

They all left. Except for Xavier who stayed behind. He looked like he was about to cry. 

"Why did I ever agree to come here?" Xavier moaned. 


End file.
